1o9:

theweirdwideweb:

acrosstheuniverse2007:

me after trying for 20 minutes to figure out which new movie to watch:

postmarxed:

tilthat:

TIL that because of a mistranslation Jimmy Carter told the Polish people in 1977 that he desired them carnally and that he had left the United States to never return.

via reddit.com

Imagine being a Polish citizen and you hear the American president say he’s here to fuck and he’s not leaving

skelenabones:

averyterrible:

dextersexter:

whats the difference between Long Island and Staten Island

they are two completely different islands.  long island is the big long island sticking out of New York.  Staten Island is the tiny island in New York City between the west coast of Long Island and the mainland

long island is where you go to experience total ego destruction over a period of decades. staten island is where you go to get stabbed by a clown

showerthoughtsofficial:

One day you’re not old and the next day you have a favorite supermarket

design-is-fine:

Pocket book, covered in embroidered satin, 19th century. France. Via Cooper Hewitt

jehovahhthickness:

Praying that $1500 randomly comes to you when you need it the most this year.

honeyvrgo:

the fact that amy adams didn’t win for sharp objects makes my blood fucking boil she is the most underrated actesss of our generation and this is legitimately her best role to date and the fact that once again she has been overlooked is unforgivable AND she has just as many oscar nominations as leonardo decaprio and there was a whole ass movement about giving him an oscar bc he had been nominated so many times. where is that kind of passion for miss adams???? and on top of that she’s gotten as many nominations as he has in a shorter period of time. we need more love and respect and recognition for amy adams this is the hill i will die on

h0tbobby678246216433122y5164231:

many people have been complaining about the surge of porn bots… personally i havent noticed… however i have seen a rise in increasingly beautiful and mysterious women who wish to court me

librabutch:

no one talk to me today i diagnosed myself with female hysteria

celero-loves-dragons:

daywatch:

evilsupplyco:

So when YOU sew a bunch of unmatched parts together, it is “a quilt” and “a beautiful gift” and “will assuredly become a family heirloom” but when I sew a bunch of unmatched parts together it is “A MONSTER” and “AN ABOMINATION, AN AFFRONT TO THE GODS” and goes on “A MURDEROUS KILLING SPREE.”

Well MAYBE if you BOTHERED TO NAME HIM or I don’t know, DIDN’T BECOME DEATHLY ILL FROM THE SIGHT OF HIM MOVING we wouldn’t HAVE THIS PROBLEM

these are my parents talking to each other about me

gudroo:

this is the last year that we can make this stupid joke so im going to make the most of it and post it every day until 2020

lucidnee:

lucidnee:

lucidnee:

if you an adult learn to take sex criticism. Y'all be 26 giving out wack head cause you refused to listen in ya freshmen year of college that you not suppose to bite it like that. You 28 still just sticking dry penis in a dry hole saying “oh..you tight” NOT AROUSED!!!

if someone says ow during sex you stop and ask! Don’t keep going!!

If you finished first that’s fine!!! It’s normal!! But don’t just leave that person hanging!!

You cum in a person after they asked you not too but it was an accident guess who paying $50 for plan b?? YOU!!!

if you looking at this putting genders on it then it’s ya fault lol cause this is the most gender neutral post